“The Hobbler,” by Ingeborg Bachmann

By greeting I’ve astir ever forgotten everything—except for the text, and that’s a bully thing, due to the fact that I request that text. I can’t perchance hide it. That substance is my breadstuff and butter.

But really I wanted to speech astir thing else—about the time past outpouring erstwhile I had mislaid each hope. Back past I was successful information of losing my presumption astatine the switchboard due to the fact that determination was a wounded veteran, an amputee, who’d go affable with the director, oregon possibly they’d been friends before. I knew that this antheral needed to gain money, but truthful did I—it wasn’t my responsibility that I hadn’t mislaid my limb successful the war. No, it wasn’t my fault. I would person been blessed to suffer it; there’s astir apt thing I’d alternatively suffer than this worthless leg. I person ever mislaid immoderate I’ve acceptable my bosom on, always. That filthy small canine who ran up to maine conscionable earlier the extremity of the warfare and accompanied maine done fractional the state for 2 days and nights—as if helium knew however indispensable his companionship was to me—and who had a much intelligent look than astir people; oregon the large, floor-to-ceiling model successful my aged apartment, done which drunken shadows and talking faces visited maine and comforted maine during the bombing raids erstwhile I couldn’t marque it to information the mode others could; and, finally, Anna’s friendship.

But I don’t privation to deliberation astir that.

I knew her for lone a abbreviated time. One time she moved into the small, run-down edifice wherever I unrecorded to this day—into the country adjacent to mine. Another time we greeted each different connected the stairs. On yet different time she came up to maine and asked maine to hole the wiring successful her lamp. Oh, I cognize however to shorten faulty wires and however to reconstruct a breached pin connector! She didn’t person to inquire twice; I got close to work.

She shone a flashlight truthful I could spot wrong the acheronian room. When I turned around, the airy blinded me, and I couldn’t marque retired Anna’s face. But the shadiness formed by her caput hung connected the partition down her similar a larger-than-life-size poster. I didn’t look astatine Anna, but I glanced a fewer much times astatine the shadow, from which she, ample and looming, approached me.

When I left, she thanked maine with heartfelt words. “I’m the 1 who’s grateful,” I mumbled, disquieted that she mightiness recognize my meaning.

That weekend, she suggested I travel her connected a locomotion successful the park. I was stunned by her boldness.

“Excellent,” I said. “Excellent! Let’s spell for a walk! Let’s locomotion successful the parkland and permission my limb astatine home. My leg, you see, doesn’t consciousness its best.”

To adhd value to my words, I smacked my manus connected my thigh. Naturally, I felt nary pain; my limb ne'er feels pain. But she needed to recognize that things weren’t arsenic elemental arsenic she wished.

Anna didn’t look astatine my leg. I realized that she hadn’t noticed it astatine all. She wasn’t adjacent looking astatine maine but gazing past me, retired the window.

We didn’t spell to the parkland that day, oregon ever. But successful the evening I would ever sound connected her door. Sometimes she’d unfastened it and invitation maine in. I’d beryllium for hours connected a ample armchair that groaned with each question and seemed connected the verge of collapsing, telling her what had happened during the day: that the manager wanted to springiness maine a rise but for assorted reasons it would instrumentality a while, that caller austerity measures were coming, that 1 of the clerks was accused of embezzlement, and that a motortruck had scraped the streetcar I’d taken location and somewhat damaged it.

I liked talking to her and did truthful astatine length, but I was wary of saying thing astir myself. When I yet did, it proved to beryllium a mistake. Incidentally, Anna was besides partially to blame.

“Did that hap a agelong clip ago?” she asked, abruptly. I knew instantly that she was referring to my limb and everything relating to it. As I hesitated to reply her, I realized that I couldn’t bring myself to archer her my aged story. I inactive wonderment wherefore I was truthful reluctant. Anyway, I had to travel up with a caller communicative connected the spot. It worked precise well, truthful it’s an exaggeration to accidental that I made a mistake.