‘I’m rich in everything but parents’: I inherited $400K. Is it unwise to use this money to buy a house with my fiancé?

I’m a 40-year-old pistillate successful a committed relationship, and I’ve experienced the nonaccomplishment of some of my parents. I’ve inherited wealth — some currency (held successful a high-yield savings account) and IRAs — immoderate of which are not afloat accessible, arsenic I’m required to instrumentality yearly withdrawals implicit the adjacent 8 years.

I’m astir to embark connected respective large beingness milestones. My fiancé and I are readying to get married, bargain spot and commencement a family. We’ve been unneurotic for a twelvemonth and, arsenic a result, haven’t had the luxury of redeeming toward these goals together. Being successful our 40s, clip is not connected our broadside — peculiarly erstwhile it comes to starting a family.

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Living successful New York City, precocious rent prices marque it hard to find abstraction for a increasing family, which is wherefore we’re anxious to enactment down roots. Neither my spouse nor I person important savings oregon a high-paying job, which makes achieving these goals adjacent much challenging without further resources.

If my parents were alive, they would lend toward the outgo of a wedding, and if they gave a monetary gift, I don’t deliberation I would hesitate to judge it. Now that the wealth is my inheritance, however, I consciousness a heavy hesitation astir utilizing it for these milestones. This wealth is precious to me. In total, it amounts to astir $400,000, and I privation to grant it.

I often perceive that inheritance shouldn’t beryllium mingled, arsenic it tin past go “marital funds,” but what if this wealth is the lone realistic way guardant to affording a wedding, a location and the added costs of having a child? It feels similar a bittersweet byproduct of losing my parents truthful early. I’m heartbroken that they aren’t present to witnesser these blessed milestones with me.

I cognize they would privation this wealth to beryllium utilized for what brings maine joy, but I consciousness profoundly conflicted astir paying for each of these large beingness milestones with this gift. I’m affluent successful everything but parents.

How should I walk my $400,000?

Daughter & Fiancée

Don’t miss: ‘I‘m facing an ethical dilemma’: My widowed parent is cutting my measurement siblings retired of the household trust. Do I person a responsibility?

The answer, my friend, sometimes lies successful the question.

If you consciousness profoundly conflicted astir utilizing this $400,000 to money your joined life, you person enactment to do. This is simply a once-in-a-lifetime inheritance that your parents would privation you to bask guilt-free and would, astatine the aforesaid time, not privation for you to  suffer fractional of it in, say, a divorce. That whitethorn ne'er happen, but program up and code the origin of your anxiety.