After a brutal year, is it selfish to feel joyful this holiday season?

If you consciousness similar joyousness is elusive this vacation season, you’re not alone.

2025 has been an particularly punishing twelvemonth crossed the planet, the federation and for Los Angeles successful particular. In the past 12 months, we’ve witnessed homes destroyed by fire, families breached up by ICE, skyrocketing anti-trans hatred and monolithic layoffs crossed the amusement and media industries leaving thousands successful our metropolis unemployed.

It’s capable to plunge adjacent L.A.’s sunniest optimists into despair.

“It’s hard to beryllium blessed successful this satellite wherever radical are being treated terribly,” a person said to maine recently. “This is simply a clip to beryllium serious, instrumentality announcement and instrumentality action.”

I recognize wherever she’s coming from, but without moments of joyousness to capable my cup, I consciousness depleted and useless. When I actively question joyousness by jumping astir astatine my synagogue, dancing to Abba astatine my Italian societal nine oregon pausing to admit the lukewarm glow of a wintertime sunset, I americium amended capable to conscionable immoderate challenges are awaiting me.

The American Psychological Association defines joyousness arsenic “a feeling of utmost gladness, delight oregon exultation of the tone arising from a consciousness of well-being and satisfaction.” While joyousness has not received the aforesaid attraction from probe psychologists arsenic the much toned down emotion of happiness, determination is grounds that joyousness tin pb to accrued creativity and greater intelligence resilience.

It is besides an emotion that does not request to beryllium tied to our outer experiences.

“Some radical deliberation each the conditions request to beryllium close to acquisition joyousness — I person to beryllium feeling OK, I person to similar my family, I person to person not conscionable mislaid someone,” said Rabbi Susan Goldberg, laminitis of Nefesh, a Jewish assemblage successful Echo Park. “That’s not true. It’s a choice, and it’s a practice.”

I spoke with Goldberg and different religion leaders successful L.A. astir however we tin question and signifier joyousness this season, whether oregon not you’re religious.

Reframe Joy

It whitethorn consciousness insensitive oregon selfish to question joyousness erstwhile we cognize truthful galore are hurting, but Thema Bryant, a scientist and curate astatine First AME Church successful Los Angeles, doesn’t spot it that way.

“We tin consciousness much than 1 happening astatine the aforesaid time,” she said. “And it is steadfast to springiness ourselves abstraction and support to consciousness each the things that travel up for america astatine this clip of year.”

This vacation season, galore of america person bully crushed to consciousness grief, fear, choler and disappointment. At the aforesaid time, we tin inactive bask gathering with household oregon friends, eating our favourite vacation foods oregon attending a candlelight work connected Christmas Eve.

None of this means we are ignoring oregon dismissing our ain symptom oregon the symptom of those astir us. Bryant said choosing despair arsenic an enactment of solidarity doesn’t assistance radical who are suffering. And allowing ourselves to acquisition joyousness successful the midst of conflict tin besides beryllium an enactment of liberation.

“The intent of oppression, hatred and favoritism is to disconnect america and dehumanize us,” she said. “It is an enactment of absorption to say, ‘I’m not going to springiness each my bid to those who are moving to accent maine out.’”

Purposefully see joyousness successful your routine

So what does seeking joyousness successful the midst of anguish look like?

At Nefesh, wherever I americium a member, it looks similar jumping.

The Nefesh assemblage has experienced plentifulness of symptom this year. Several members were straight affected by the fires that tore done Los Angeles astatine the opening of 2025, queer and trans members person considered leaving the state successful the aftermath of expanding hatred and those with ties to Israel person grappled with the devastation and unit successful that region. Clergy and congregants person besides been connected the beforehand lines of the combat to support families from being separated by ICE, and this outpouring the assemblage was shocked by the unexpected decease of Goldberg’s mother, a beloved member, genitor pedagogue and activist.

And yet contempt each this, each week Goldberg stands successful beforehand of the congregation and virtually jumps for joyousness arsenic we invited Shabbat.

“Our contented says it’s six to one,” she said. “Six days a week of making, fixing, doing, and Shabbat is the seventh time erstwhile we are virtually commanded to remainder and besides beryllium joyful. You tin deliberation astir the centuries wherever it seemed intolerable for the Jewish radical to person joyousness and delight, and yet that is what we person found.”

Look for ‘glimmers’

If spiritual assemblage is not your thing, Bryant has a fewer different ideas connected however to question joyousness successful challenging times. “The word that comes to caput for maine are ‘glimmers alternatively of triggers,’” she said.

If “triggers” are reminders of achy moments, “glimmers” are a elemental pleasance that tin trigger joyousness and assistance invitation it into our lives, she said. That mightiness mean taking a walk, going to the beach, calling a person who ever makes you smile, relaxing successful a bubble bath oregon rewatching a favourite movie.

“Community tin bring joy,” Bryant said. “Or cuddling with your pet. Service and volunteerism tin besides beryllium a joy.”

I precocious saw a “glimmer” successful enactment erstwhile a person sent maine an adorable video of her girl arsenic a small girl. My person had had conscionable rewatched the video connected her telephone aft spending 8 hours astatine the infirmary with her father-in-law who was successful the midst of a frightening wellness event.

“It’s a ridiculous disaster,” she texted me. But adjacent successful the midst of the crisis, she was capable to acquisition a glimmer of joyousness by reliving this saccharine infinitesimal with her daughter.

“Joy, joy, joy,” she wrote. “Wherever we tin find it.”

But don’t unopen retired the darkness

Authentic joyousness tin besides look similar quality transportation and solidarity, said Francisco Garcia, an Episcopal clergyman who co-leads the Sacred Resistance ministry of the Episcopal Diocese of Los Angeles and who has ministered to galore radical whose loved ones person been taken by ICE.

“There’s an constituent of knowing we’re not unsocial successful our pain, fearfulness and anxiousness that tin beryllium a root of immoderate semblance of joy,” Garcia said. “Finding those sources of regular gratitude that are not fake oregon forced, but calved retired of existent strife and struggle, is simply a beautifully quality thing.”

As we participate the Christmas season, Garcia noted that the Christmas liturgy is an yearly reminder that joyousness is imaginable adjacent successful the darkest times, and that the 2 often spell together. He pointed to the signifier of Advent, a clip erstwhile observant Christians hole themselves for the accomplishment of the lad of God.

“The airy and the acheronian are portion of the celebration,” helium said.

It reminded him of a enactment from Psalm 30:5: “Weeping whitethorn endure for the night, but joyousness cometh successful the morning.”

“It’s a anticipation that joyousness volition come, not a guarantee,” Garcia said. “And that itself is simply a leap of faith. That joyousness volition travel successful the morning.”